When someone dies, most people have about an hour to make a decision they have never made before. What do you send? How large? To the funeral home or to the house? And is it even appropriate?
We have been answering these questions at our Boulevard Saint-Laurent shop since 1993. This guide is the answer we give, so that you can place the order yourself in a few minutes and think about something else.
The rule that decides almost everything
Funeral flowers follow a quiet hierarchy. The closer you were to the person who died, the more prominent the piece. Getting this wrong is noticed in both directions. A large casket piece from a colleague feels presumptuous, and a small bud vase from a sibling reads as an oversight.
| Your relationship | What is appropriate | Typical range |
|---|---|---|
| Spouse, children, parents, siblings | The casket spray or urn arrangement | $195 to $795 |
| Grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws | A standing tribute or large arrangement | $150 to $395 |
| Close friends | A generous vase arrangement | $100 to $200 |
| Colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances | A vase arrangement or an orchid plant | $65 to $150 |
| A company or team | One arrangement signed by the group | $150 to $300 |
The casket spray belongs to the immediate family
This is the most common mistake. The flowers that rest on or beside the casket are chosen and paid for by the immediate family, meaning the spouse, the children, the parents. If you are not in that circle, you do not order one, however close you felt to the person. Our cream and green casket spray and our classic casket pieces exist for that family, and we build them to the dimensions of the casket.
With cremation now the majority choice in Quebec, the equivalent piece is the urn arrangement, a lower and wider design that frames the urn rather than covering it. The same rule applies: immediate family.
Everyone else sends something that stands on its own
A tall arrangement, a substantial vase piece, or a flowering plant. These are placed around the room during visitation, and they are what the family actually sees, reads the card of, and remembers. A white calla lily arrangement or a white orchid plant is never wrong in a Montreal salon funéraire.
Funeral home or family home?
These are two different gestures, not two addresses for the same one.
To the funeral home, before the visitation begins. This is the formal gesture. It is displayed publicly, it carries your name on a card the family reads, and it says that you were there. Pieces sent here should be self-supporting and designed to be seen from across a room.
To the family home, after the service rather than before. In the days leading up to a funeral the house is full and nobody is home. A bouquet that arrives a week or two later, once the visitors have stopped coming and the silence sets in, is often the one people remember. Send something softer and smaller here, a hand-tied bouquet in a vase rather than a formal tribute.
If you can only do one, and you were not able to attend the service, send to the home. It is the more personal of the two.
What goes where in the order
- First name and last name: the person who died. That is the name under which the salon files every delivery.
- Company field: the funeral home.
- First address line: the address of the funeral home.
- Second address line: the visitation time. A visitation starting at 2 PM and one starting at 7 PM are two different delivery runs, and that line is how we build them.
Timing, the part people get wrong
The deadline that matters
Casket and urn pieces need 48 hours. We must have the order at least two days before the visitation begins. These are built by hand to size and the flowers are ordered in specially.
- Standing and vase arrangements for the funeral home. Choose the day before the visitation at checkout wherever you can.
- Bouquets to the family home. Deliberately late. One to three weeks after the service.
If the service is today and you have only just found out, place the order and call us at 514-844-3233 right after. We can often make it work, and we would rather tell you honestly on the phone than leave you wondering.
Colour: white is the safe answer, not the only one
White and green, meaning roses, calla lilies, hydrangeas, lisianthus, orchids and eucalyptus, is the convention for good reason. It reads as respectful in every community in this city, and it sits well in the neutral rooms of a modern funeral complex.
Convention is not obligation. Colour is entirely appropriate when:
- The family has asked for it, or the notice mentions a celebration of life rather than a traditional service.
- The person who died was known for a particular colour, flower or garden. Name it in the order notes and we build around it. Sending their flower is a form of attention that white never achieves.
- The deceased was young, or a child. Soft colour is gentler here than stark white.
Two cautions. Red roses specifically signal romantic love, which is beautiful from a widow or widower and awkward from a coworker. And colour is not read the same way everywhere, so a strongly coloured arrangement can land differently than you intend. If you are unsure, say so in the order notes and we will guide the choice.
When flowers are not the gesture
A florist telling you not to send flowers may seem odd. But some families do not receive them at a service, and sending the wrong thing is worse than sending nothing.
In Montreal this comes up most often with Jewish and Muslim funerals, where the customary gesture is a donation in the person's name, food for the family, or a handwritten note rather than an arrangement. We deliver regularly to Paperman & Sons and we know what is usually expected in each salon. If you are close enough to the family to ask, ask. If you are not, a donation is never wrong.
“In lieu of flowers” and « au lieu de fleurs »
This line appears in a growing share of Quebec death notices, and it should be respected. It means the family has chosen a cause. Make the donation. If you still want to acknowledge them personally, a small bouquet sent to the home two or three weeks later, entirely separate from the service, is welcome and does not contradict their wishes.
Ordering from outside Canada
A large share of our sympathy orders come from abroad, from family in Beirut, Athens, Port-au-Prince, Lisbon or Rome, and from adult children in Toronto and New York who cannot get back in time. You order online in English or French, we design the piece here, and it is hand-delivered locally.
If you have only a name and a neighbourhood, write what you know in the order notes. We know the salons and we will confirm the rest.
The card matters more than the flowers
The arrangement is looked at. The card is kept. Every order from us includes a printed card at no charge, and we would rather you spent your energy on those three sentences than on choosing between two shades of white.
Keep it short. Use the name of the person who died. Avoid saying that everything happens for a reason. If you want to help, be specific about how. Our page of sympathy message examples has more than forty options sorted by relationship if the words will not come. Copy the one that fits into the card field and you are done.
Frequently asked questions
How much should I spend on funeral flowers?
Match the piece to your relationship rather than to a number. A $65 arrangement from a neighbour is entirely appropriate, while a $65 piece from an only child is not. Most non-family orders we fill for Montreal services fall between $100 and $200.
Can I send flowers if I am not attending the service?
Yes, and it is one of the main reasons people send them. Flowers stand in for you when you cannot be in the room.
Is it too late to send flowers after the funeral?
No. Grief does not end when the service does, and flowers that arrive after everyone else has moved on are often the most appreciated of all.
Should I send flowers to a colleague whose parent died?
Yes. One arrangement from the team, sent to the funeral home, signed with the group's name. If you were personally close, send something separately to their home afterwards.
What do I write in the delivery details?
The first and last name of the person who died in the name fields, the funeral home in the company field, its address on the first line, and the visitation time on the second. Full instructions are on our funeral flower delivery page.
Send sympathy flowers
It all happens in the order: the first and last name of the person who died, the funeral home in the company field, its address on the first line, the visitation time on the second, then your card message. We take it from there. For a casket or urn piece, or if the service is imminent, 514-844-3233 reaches a florist who has delivered to every major funeral home in Montreal, Laval and the South Shore, including Memoria, Urgel Bourgie, Magnus Poirier, Yves Légaré and Collins Clarke.
Discover our Sympathy & Funeral collection and the funeral homes we deliver to, each piece arranged by hand in our workshop on the day it is delivered, in Montreal, Laval and on the South Shore.
